ballad of a broken heart

Love is a funny thing. We think we can plan for it. (We can't.) We think we're in control. (We're not.) We think we understand it. (We don't.) I've had a rough 4 years when it comes to love and broken hearts. And for the longest time I've gone over it all and re-played every word, every moment over and over, until I finally realized something. I don't deserve to feel unworthy. I don't deserve to feel like crap. And sadder yet, that I am a huge part of making myself feel that way.

No more.

When it is supposed to happen, then someday, it will. Until that day comes along, I am picking up the pieces and moving on with my own life. Throwing myself into work and school, because I am good at those things, and I can control those things, and they make sense. Love does not make sense. I am making myself successful... I don't know what my destination is, but I know what it takes to keep going in the right direction. So I am going to. No more looking back, no more rewinding the past. The past has passed, and this girl is moving forward.

Open me up and you will see

I'm a gallery of broken hearts

I'm beyond repair, let me be

And give me back my broken parts.

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today,

I just want to feel something today.

I just want to know today, know today, know today,

Know that maybe I will be okay.

"Be OK" Ingrid Michaelson