it's my life

I've decided that I often bite off more than I can chew. In relationships, emotionally, with classes and work. I'd like to think of myself as really ambitious, and I know that I can be, but most of the time I just feel totally overwhelmed. I've talked about this before- I have a thing for extremes. It's ALL work, or no work. There's not much of a middle ground. It fluctuates from day to day, but from one polar opposite to the other.

It's not healthy. And this week, I think being sad, run down, and under slept really caught up to me. I've been pretty sick for the past three days. Funny how sometimes it takes an almost-literal smack in the face for me to have any clarity at all. Balance. I need balance. I had a good handle on the concept for the better part of last semester, but after break it all just sort of got away from me. I need to get back to that point. Otherwise, I'm in for a lot more trouble than a few sick days.

We talk about it a lot in my health psychology class. Mental health is directly tied to physical well being. So my goal for the next week is to try letting go of the emotional baggage I've been dragging around for months (years, even), and to get back to that balance with my classes and work. I realize that days of my life are just passing by, and it seems like such a waste to spend a single one feeling purposeless or unhappy. I need to work on me, and stop concerning myself with what other people are doing right now. I need to get back to the happy place. And that's the only road I know will take me there.

This is the moment,

It's on the line,

Which way you gonna fall?

You're in the middle

Between wrong and right

But you know after all,

It's your life.

What you gonna do?

The world is watching you.

Every day, the choices you make

Say what you are and who your heart beats for,

It's an open door.

It's your life.

Francesca Battistelli