white flag

Did you ever have one of those moments where you feel so full of feelings that you could burst? One of those fleeting moments of clarity. One of those moments where you feel sad and happy and hurt and defeated and hopeful all at once. The feelings just keep building, and you just feel alive. The pain and the fears and the defeats, that's when we know we're alive. That's how we're all connected.

I've been going through a lot of emotions this week. I'm looking at this Lent as a time for transfiguration, and it's definitely happening. Things that I never thought I'd be able to give up on are getting further and further away. My mind feels a little more free, a little bit lighter. I am waving my white flag. I surrender. To everything that has ever brought me down. I am cutting ties with the things that have anchored me to this place in my life, and moving far away from them. I am finally accepting the losses, and failures, and victories for what they were, and leaving them behind. And it's funny- instead of feeling depressed, I just feel alive.