denial

It's not the last week of classes. I don't have a biology project due on Wednesday, or a stat assignment due on Thursday. I do not have to get ready to lead a Kairos this weekend. I don't have to wash every stitch of clothing I own before Thursday. And I definitely do not have finals starting bright and early on Monday morning.

Except that I do. All of the above is true. I am spreading myself so thin this week I'm not sure I'll even sleep (but sure, let's write a blog?). Often, denial is my coping mechanism. Instead of working on a secret Kairos surprise for my sister, I learned to play a new song on the guitar. Instead of working on my biology project, I caught up on Gossip Girl reruns. Why do I do this?

Because the problems don't ever actually go away. They all bide time, piling up, and before long that huge stack of issues comes crashing into my stream of consciousness. Leaving me with 3 days, 1,000,000 things to accomplish, and only two hands. Let the panic attacks begin! (Or should I say, continue?)

"Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freakin' ocean."

Meredith Grey