Never, never, never, never give up.

Winston Churchill said that. I think it is one of the best pieces of advice anyone can give. The attitude I see a lot in myself, and in others, is this minimalistic thought approach of looking at things. "What is the least I can do to get by? To pass this class? To win?" And when things get too hard, we bail. How sad! We need to be asking ourselves, "What is the most I can do?"

I don't know if you've been watching the Olympics at all, but they have been making me think. The Olympics are about making your dreams come true. There are hundreds of people, from countries all over the world who had a dream, set a goal, and fulfilled it. The process is simple, the work is hard. But they do whatever it takes, because it is their dream. Their goal. They don't give up. Now, chances are none of us are going to become Olympic gold-medalists. But if we learn their lesson about hard work and perseverance, we will get a taste of that glory. If we truly set a goal, we can absolutely achieve it. We have unlimited potential when we set our minds to something. You can't fail if you never, never, never, never give up.

So, let me ask you. What is your dream?

white flag

Did you ever have one of those moments where you feel so full of feelings that you could burst? One of those fleeting moments of clarity. One of those moments where you feel sad and happy and hurt and defeated and hopeful all at once. The feelings just keep building, and you just feel alive. The pain and the fears and the defeats, that's when we know we're alive. That's how we're all connected.

I've been going through a lot of emotions this week. I'm looking at this Lent as a time for transfiguration, and it's definitely happening. Things that I never thought I'd be able to give up on are getting further and further away. My mind feels a little more free, a little bit lighter. I am waving my white flag. I surrender. To everything that has ever brought me down. I am cutting ties with the things that have anchored me to this place in my life, and moving far away from them. I am finally accepting the losses, and failures, and victories for what they were, and leaving them behind. And it's funny- instead of feeling depressed, I just feel alive.

valentine's day

I'm not surprised,
Not everything lasts,
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in,
I talk myself out,
I get all worked up,
Then I let myself down.

I tried so very hard not to lose it;
I came up with a million excuses,
I thought I thought of every possibility.

And I know some day that it’ll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet.

I might have to wait,
I’ll never give up,
I guess it's half timin', and the other half's luck,
Wherever you are,
Whenever it's right,
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazin',
And baby your love is gonna change me,
And now I can see every possibility.

They say all’s fair
in love and war
But I won’t need to fight it,
we'll get it right and
we'll be united.

And I know that we can be so amazin',
And bein' in your life is gonna change me,
And now I can see every single possibility.

And someday I know it'll all turn out,
And I'll work to work it out,
Promise you kid I’ll give more than I get
I just haven't met you yet.

Michael Bublé

blizzard of '10

We are in the middle of a total blizzard right now! Between the snow from last Saturday & the snow we've been getting all day, we're well over 40". I didn't have classes today, and school is closed tomorrow as well. I feel like a little kid again, getting so excited about snow days! Granted, my interests have changed quite a bit... where I used to get excited about sledding all day and making snowmen, I now get excited about staying in my pajamas and reading and drinking hot tea- just relaxing. It's funny to think about how different my life is now.

Unfortunately, college-Beth should be spending her snow days doing work and writing papers and studying... I've flipped the denial switch again. Actually, it's more like avoidance. I know I have a mountain of work to do, I'm just not going near it and hoping it will disappear. Logic tells me it will not. But hey, a girl can dream, right?

I don't know where this inherent need to procrastinate comes from. I wish it was something I could easily overcome (it seems like it should be), but it's not... such is life. I'm going to go have some hot chocolate and read a book! Maybe I'll do a little studying.... haha! Who am I kidding?

If you're looking for something random and fun to do with freshly fallen snow:

Snow Ice Cream

8 cups CLEAN snow

1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 t. vanilla extract

Stir, scoop, & enjoy!

it's my life

I've decided that I often bite off more than I can chew. In relationships, emotionally, with classes and work. I'd like to think of myself as really ambitious, and I know that I can be, but most of the time I just feel totally overwhelmed. I've talked about this before- I have a thing for extremes. It's ALL work, or no work. There's not much of a middle ground. It fluctuates from day to day, but from one polar opposite to the other.

It's not healthy. And this week, I think being sad, run down, and under slept really caught up to me. I've been pretty sick for the past three days. Funny how sometimes it takes an almost-literal smack in the face for me to have any clarity at all. Balance. I need balance. I had a good handle on the concept for the better part of last semester, but after break it all just sort of got away from me. I need to get back to that point. Otherwise, I'm in for a lot more trouble than a few sick days.

We talk about it a lot in my health psychology class. Mental health is directly tied to physical well being. So my goal for the next week is to try letting go of the emotional baggage I've been dragging around for months (years, even), and to get back to that balance with my classes and work. I realize that days of my life are just passing by, and it seems like such a waste to spend a single one feeling purposeless or unhappy. I need to work on me, and stop concerning myself with what other people are doing right now. I need to get back to the happy place. And that's the only road I know will take me there.

This is the moment,

It's on the line,

Which way you gonna fall?

You're in the middle

Between wrong and right

But you know after all,

It's your life.

What you gonna do?

The world is watching you.

Every day, the choices you make

Say what you are and who your heart beats for,

It's an open door.

It's your life.

Francesca Battistelli