Wednesday, April 28, 2010

car crash

So I've got to work on my bio project, finish my research design to hand in by tomorrow at one... Oh, shoot, I forgot to email the registrar about my transfer credits...

I mentally ran through the list of last-minute work I needed to accomplish in the next 48 hours. I was really down to the wire, and so sick of stress. I wished I didn't have to worry about any of these things, because I was so miserable. I was rushing down the bypass to get home so I could get started on my to-do list of about 70 things when I saw the brake lights.

Great. A traffic jam. This is awesome- I've got to get home! It's like the whole world is conspiring against me.

That's when I saw the ambulance lights.

Oh no.

Reality hit, in the form of a 18-wheeler. As traffic slowed, I got a close up look at the damage. The car that had been on the receiving end of the truck looked about a decade older than I am. The truck hit the drivers side, and it did not look like a hopeful situation, judging by the 5 ambulances, 7 police cars, and 14 men crowded around the passenger door with a gurney, trying to rescue the victim.

I know nothing about this person. Whether they lived or died, whether they were young or old, if it was a man or a woman... I know nothing of them. But what I do know, is that no matter how colossal your problems may seem, none of it really matters in the Grand Scheme- because you're alive. Problems or no problems, you are breathing. It's almost laughable how stupid all my "problems" seem in light of that accident scene. It's affected me more than I thought it would.

We don't know when our time will be up. So we must live every moment as if it's our last. I get that it sounds cheesy sometimes, but it's the honest-to-goodness truth. Take a lesson from the accident this afternoon. I did.

"You can't do anything about the length of your life,
but you can do something about its width and depth."
Henry Louis Mencken

Friday, April 16, 2010

isolation

I don't know why it's so difficult for me to come up with something meaningful to blog about. I guess it's just April, and watching the semester wind down, and all of those due dates come rushing towards me... its hard to find inspiration.

Lately, I've been making some decisions I'm not exactly proud of- canceling plans, isolating myself... For some reason, right now, I really feel the need to be alone. I just keep telling myself that its the stress of finals and projects.

I hope I'm right.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

unintentional advice

It's never too late to get back on track.

Never has anyone gone so far on the wrong path that they cannot return to the right one. Never has anyone become so wayward that they cannot benefit from the true light.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

takin' care of business

Three weeks of class until finals- that should sound incredible, but it's actually terrifying. Thinking about the amount of work I have left, compared to the little time I have to do it all. So I've decided that I need to get in the right mindset.

A lot of the time, when I'm really stressed about something, I let everything else kind of fall apart. Like my room, for instance. Tomorrow, I am starting my day bright and early and ORGANIZING my life. Closet, desk, school papers, books, everything. Even laundry- I've managed not to do it for like, a month (instead, I've gotten into the habit of just buying new clothes. Bad!) Because as tedious as it may seem, once everything in my life is in order, it makes it so much more satisfying to take care of whatever it is that is stressing me out. Like papers, and original research designs, and presentations. Tomorrow, I am letting my OCD-side out with a vengeance.

That way, when I say I have 3 weeks left, I can smile :)

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

it's gonna be a bright sunshine-y day

It's sunny. And hot out today. I have nothing consequential to say other than I am loving the gorgeous weather. Spring has definitely arrived.

I'll blog soon. Promise.