nothing gold can stay

Things are in a constant state of change. I keep rediscovering that truth, and each time it hits with the impact of a sucker punch to the stomach. Never has it been more apparent than right now, though. Mostly in terms of friendships. I sort of want to do one of those Facebook warning things, but for like, my life:

After 12pm tomorrow, Beth will be

deleting all inactive relationships.

Unless you verify your status to Beth,

your account will be removed.

If only it were that easy. Although, then I guess I'd be afraid of who would (or wouldn't) be left.

what it's all about

valentine's day (pt. II)

Typically, I would spend today sulking, and moping, and generally just dwelling on my romance-less life. Oddly enough, this year, I'm fine. Valentine's day, Schmalentine's day... it's cute if you're in a relationship. Go for it. There's even something endearing about the clueless guys aimlessly wandering around stores, clutching flowers and boxes of chocolates.

I've come to the conclusion that I have endless amounts of love in my life. Sure, it's not with a boyfriend right now. But I have family and friends, and God- that actually IS infinite amounts of love!

day thirty

Your highs and lows of this month...

Not sure if they mean the 30 days I've been blogging, or like, February so far. I'm gonna go with the former. I'll start with lows (so I can end on a high note :) Not going to lie here, this semester is kind of a bummer. I like one of my classes, but that's about it. For the most part I just wanna get OUT. Also, I've kind of been a hermit, but not really by choice anymore. It's hitting way harder that my closest friends are far away, and the ones that aren't don't have the time of day for me, generally speaking. Loneliness is not awesome.

As far as highs go... I've read a lot of good books (sidenote: C.S. Lewis was a genius). And I've started doing a regular yoga class, and I'm basically obsessed. I have a feeling I'll be doing this for the rest of my life.

And that, dear readers, concludes my Thirty Days of Blogging challenge. We will now return to the regularly scheduled programming.

day twenty-nine

Goals for the next 30 days...

I'm really lacking all motivation right now. I didn't know that senioritis existed in college, but I've got it in a big way. I'd really just like to get organized and do some work! I need focus and balance and SLEEP. My professor totally called me out on being tired today = not cool. The jerk was right though, my exhaustion probably isn't helping to motivate me.

Also, I want to shake things up. I think I might do the raw food thing again, in a few weeks. It was easy, cheap, and I've never felt better in my entire life.

day twenty-eight

Something that you miss...

The days of being sure about everything. Although, as I'm writing this, I'm flashbacking to that week at the lakehouse the summer before we all left for college. Ironically, we weren't sure about anything back then... well, except that we had the best friendships in the world.

We were just all together, in one place, and time seemed to stand still for a few days. I miss it. Everyone has gone in their separate ways, living their separate lives- no one really has time for each other anymore. It's pretty crappy, but I guess that's just how it goes.

day twenty-seven

A problem that you have had...

Patience! I struggle with being patient... in lines, while driving, with friends. For some reason, I am often in a rush for no apparent reason. I've been working on that though- sometimes I get in the long line at the grocery store and will myself to be patient and kind to the cashier. It's a lot easier to be patient when you put yourself in the other person's shoes, I am finding.

day twenty-six

What kind of person attracts you...

I don't care so much about hair color, or eye color even... a nice smile is a big thing though. Someone who radiates happiness. Someone honest, and loyal. Someone who would fight for me. A good listener. Someone strong in their faith, who would challenge me as well. A man who would help me to become the best version of myself, and vice versa.

...And someone who can kill a bug without laughing at me. Okay, well maybe he can laugh a little- but he'll always do it because he won't want me to be scared :)

day twenty-five

Someone who fascinates you and why...

I'm not sure if they're looking for someone who I know personally, or if I can pick anyone... if it's the latter, I'm gonna have to go with the Dalai Lama (Amanda is probably laughing at this if she remembers the book I got her to read 3 years ago).

I consider myself a devout Catholic, but I have always been utterly fascinated by other religions- mostly because, when you boil them down, they all preach the same essential messages. Apparently, he agrees with me, as he said, "All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion, and forgiveness... the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives."

He's just such an inspiration of peace and love, and, given the chance, I would love to just hang out with him! Just read his tweets here (yes, he tweets!). You'll see what I mean. If every person could tap into just a fraction of his kindness and optimism and hope... the world would be an infinitely better place.

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

day twenty-four

Your favorite movie and what it's about...

I love romance movies. Love them (pardon the very obvious and un-amusing pun)! When I tried to think about which one is my favorite, I kept coming back to Love Actually (click for the trailer).

It's a movie about love, in all of it's different forms. It is about eight couples who are dealing with loss, heartbreak, true love, unrequited love, familial love, affairs... what I love most is that not everyone gets a happy ending. In my idealist heart, I want to believe that everyone gets a happy ending. But the fact that not everyone in the movie does feels more real, and closer to real life. My favorite storyline in the movie is the little boy, Sam- his mom dies at the beginning, and he is left to live with his distant stepfather. The whole story line is about Sam being in love with a girl who doesn't know he exists, and how that brings him and his stepfather together. And in the end, after a pretty romantic sprint through the airport, he gets a sweet little kiss. It's adorable.

There's also a woman, Sarah, who I totally relate to. She's been working the same job for over 3 years, and has been in love with her coworker the entire time. And the only one who doesn't know is him... Yeah. Similar to my own sad, little unrequited love story. And the picture I chose is a screen shot from one of the best scenes in the whole movie, when Mark confesses his love for Juliette.

But it's just a movie that warms your heart! And even though it's technically a Christmas movie, I totally watch it all year round. It's definitely my favorite!